Since I can’t play center field for the Yankees and I never did make it big in the music biz, my next failed dream will be to write for the Onion. In the meantime, I have started Swinging for the Downs to fill the void.
This is satire. Whether it’s well-done or not is up to the reader–more specifically, if the reader is too dense to get it or not. Because it’s fucking great, truth be told.
This is just one arm of a new, relaunched Internet empire. Stay tuned for that.
Q: Who is Rob Deer?
A: Only the greatest all-or-nothing hitter to play for the Milwaukee Brewers. And that’s saying something–they have a lot of guys who made a living swinging for the downs. For the kids out there who follow baseball, think of a white, right-handed Ryan Howard.
Q: Um, I know you just put it in context, but what does “Swinging for the Downs” mean?
A: You’re an idiot.
Q: I didn’t read anything that preceded this question. So what does “Swinging for the Downs” mean?
A: Trying to hit a home run on every swing–and the only time I ever hear the phrase is when someone swings…and misses. Badly.